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Nelthilta is the last poster
49 Unique Guild Members
14 Level 100 characters
401 Website/Forum Members
0 Posts in 24 hours
0 Posts in 7 days
84313 Total Posts
Nelthilta is the last poster

Chopsololology
Chopsololology
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Primary: [LoL]
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Chops-o-lol-ol-ogy - The study of why Chops is terrible at League of Legends and DotA.

It's widely known that Chops is terrible at League of Legends. After extensive research, I've discovered the complete formula to play just like me!


Complete Lack of Awareness
Never know where anyone is except those on your immediate screen. When you're fighting some neutral creep, make an effort to not notice that your teammates are clashing only two screens away. When an enemy leaves your lane, always announce the hero missing after they've shown up elsewhere on the minimap. When someone pings something, but you're focusing on something else, don't look at the minimap to see where it happened, instead, ask where the ping was 5 seconds after the fact.


Complete Lack of Intuition
Never have any idea where any missing enemies are. Get Clairvoyance and use it regularly, but never reveal anyone, or do anything remotely useful with it. CV the Lizard when every hero is already accounted for on the minimap.


Inability to Multitask
While watching your main screen, ignore the minimap. While watching the minimap, ignore the main screen, and have no idea what's going on. When you're dead, and watching heroes clash elsewhere on the map, don't notice that you've respawned (even though everything changes to color). Instead, stay at the fountain and watch them clash, then when the battle is over, realize you've spawned and start doing something. When a team clash is happening, be completely overwhelmed by the 10 hero health bars, and completely fail to differentiate which hero's bar is which, just target the lowest bar nearby, regardless of the fact that the lowest is probably singed, mundo, or tryndamere with his ult running, healing faster than you can do damage. During a clash, completely fail to notice that the lowest health bar on your team is actually yours and you're about 1.5 seconds from dying. Also when the rest of the team retreats from a clash, fail to notice, and continue engaging until you die.


Inability to assess the question quickly
Never engage at the right time. Like, after everyone on your team is dead, and there are 5 there with somewhat medium health, try to clash then and think you can kill them because you're at full health. Always think that you're a safe distance from the enemy, then get pulled by Blitzcrank or chased and flipped by Singed into the enemies where you get exhausted and die instantly.

Corrolary: Always take the bait
Corrolary: Always chase at the wrong time and run away at the wrong time


Never knowing when to kill steal or not
Kill steal when you think the enemy will get away, but to everyone else, it's obvious that they won't get away (such as throwing a late nuke from Malphite). Then apologize for it, when realized in retrospect. This will probably be your only kill that game, anyway.

Misclick often
Regularly nuke the creep standing next to heroes.
Corollary: Miss almost all skillshots
Corollary: Miss at least one Malphite ult per game

Be Underleveled the whole time
Spend too much time dead so you're not getting XP and out of the lane (not getting XP) attempting to join the gank squad only to be the first killed because you're 4 levels lower than everyone else. When everyone's 18 and you're 14, try to solo lane again to get XP, but get ganked over and over.


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Just map the keys to something else, slap some tape and re-write your champion abilities, and everything is solved.

BTW I love this post, we all do these things sometimes.


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Quote by Virr

BTW I love this post, we all do these things sometimes.


Virr does them all the time LOL


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Quote by Lamyra
Quote by Virr

BTW I love this post, we all do these things sometimes.


Virr does them all the time LOL


LOL!


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Quote by Lamyra
Quote by Virr

BTW I love this post, we all do these things sometimes.


Virr does them all the time LOL



Virr is always invited to play with better people. Bite your tongue.


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Quote by Ismael
Quote by Lamyra
Quote by Virr

BTW I love this post, we all do these things sometimes.


Virr does them all the time LOL



Virr is always invited to play with better people. Bite your tongue.


Bite it HURD.


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Chops, when I play with you, you always do well. I'm not sure why you think you're not very good. I remember a game or two where you dominated with corki.


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